My name is Steph and I used to like to look for trouble. I was rebellious
and didn't want anyone telling me what to do. However, the things
I did and the desires I had were very destructive. I used to lie,
steal, get drunk, smoke crack and other drugs, and sleep around.
I did those things because I got a thrill out of being bad and
I was empty inside. I was also looking for attention, even if it
was the wrong kind of attention. I was violent and depressed when
my selfish plans were threatened and I would use people when and
wherever I would benefit. I quit school at 13 because I was lazy
and wanted to have fun without any boundaries or restrictions on
my life. I didn't even realize I was a slave to my sin and the
freedom I thought I had was all a lie. I spent most of my teen
years in rehabs, mental institutions, parties, and shacking up.
I was looking to men for father figures and ended up in some pretty
sick relationships with older guys. Before long, I was involved
in things
I'm even too ashamed to speak of now and I swore I would never
do. I always went further than I originally thought I would.
When I was 17, I heard the gospel and believed, but I refused to
repent. So I continued on my destructive path. By the time I was
20, I was so scarred by my past and had no hope for the future.
I had nothing left and I wanted to die. I was desperate. I knew
God was the only answer and I needed to stop running from the only
one who really loved me. So I finally surrendered to God and began
to obey Him. He brought me back to Pennsylvania from Texas and
added me to the Potter's House in Upper Darby. He set me free from
all my
habits and my insane lifestyle. Somehow I survived all those years
without getting AIDS. That was a miracle.
God has redeemed the life that I ruined. I am now happily married
to a wonderful, saved man and have three beautiful kids who are
being raised in church and in a stable home. This is something
I never had and never could have provided. God continues to set
me free
from my wrong ways of thinking and is teaching me how His kingdom
works. I am learning to function as a wife and a mom as God intended.
I never want to forget where I came from so I can keep the gratitude
and awe I have for the power that is in Jesus and so others can
have hope because of what God has done in my life.
I thought I had it all together. I turned a hobby into a successful
business, had a beautiful wife, had money, had a lot of friends,
and was generally liked and respected. Even though I had all this,
I wasn't happy. I was always negative. My favorite expression was, "I
NEVER had a good day."
I buried myself in work. My life was work.
Then one day... CRASH! I lost my mind and my passion for EVERYTHING
(work, people, music, and food). Nothing meant ANYTHING. I was
on automatic pilot for almost a year. When my wife Patty couldn't
take it any more, she and I tried "couples
counseling" as a last resort.
After many sessions that weren't bringing me out of my funk, the
counselor said, "Maybe it's a spiritual thing. Do you go to church?" I
told her no, I live by the Golden Rule. "Do unto others...." I
told her that I knew too many people who attend church but live
anything but a Christian life.
But the seed was sown, and I decided to explore it. Patty and I first
went to traditional churches, then a non-denominational one that
I liked better. The fourth Sunday I decided to try the storefront
church across the street from my store. It was unlike any church
I ever attended-- no crosses, no sign of Jesus-- just a room with
a lot of chairs. At the end of the service, the pastor pulled an
altar call, which I answered. I prayed a sinner's prayer with a
young person who assisted me. When I walked outside, the heavens
opened up to me! All the negativity, sin and stuff that choked
my life were lifted off.
I felt completely NEW... FREE AND HAPPY! A feeling I NEVER felt before.
IT WAS A MIRACLE. Could accepting Jesus in your life and repenting
from your old life do this? WOW!
A few weeks later, I was baptized.
That was over 9 years ago. Since then, my life has taken a new turn.
I try to put the Lord first in my life, I read the Bible daily,
and I start and end each day in prayer.
Before I received the Lord, I worshipped money and its power. I did
business practices and things in my life that weren't always "the
right thing".
I had the filthiest mouth and like most people, I though possessions
gave you happiness. That's probably why I was everything BUT "
happy".
I'm so grateful to God for all His blessings. I'm still married to
Patty. I work less and we spend more time together. I still love
my work, although it's not as important to me as it was. God knocked
it out of first place, where I had put it in front of Patty, family,
and friends.
God works in mysterious ways. His ways aren't our ways. If my life
hadn't taken the nose-dive it did, I wouldn't have God and the
joy that comes from serving him today.
So when things are not good in your life, maybe it's God's way of
getting your attention and preparing you for a new life or journey.
I'm nobody special and he did it for me, so he can do it for you
too. So if you want true happiness and joy, and a secure future
(eternity in Heaven), love and serve Jesus beginning today
if you don't already.
We're not promised tomorrow. Look at the 3,000 people who went to
work on 9-11.
I was born in a Catholic family. I thought I knew God. I believed
in God and everything, but I didn't actually know the truth about
God. I was trying to make God fit in my life the way I wanted him
to be, not the way that he wanted me to live my life. My dad was
taking care of me and I felt secure. I was self-righteous because
everybody liked me, but they didn't know what was going on inside
of me. When I was 13-years-old, I moved to live with my uncle.
That was the first time I came to a Pentecostal church. I didn't
want anything to do with a Pentecostal church. I was one of those
people who say, "I was
born Catholic, and I'm going to die Catholic." It wasn't that
I believed in the Catholic church, it's just that's the only thing
I knew. That's the only thing I was raised on, and I had never
tried anything before.
When I moved, that was the beginning of my high school years. I was
trying to fit in and be like everybody else. I found myself doing
stuff I had thought I would never do, because I was trying to fill
the emptiness inside my heart. I wasn't living with my dad anymore
and I had to take care of myself. I was trying to fill the emptiness
because I was used to my dad providing for me, and didn't have
him with me any more. I was trying to find the answers in everything
else. I didn't have a joy in my life. The first time I walked into
the Potter's
House Christian Church was the first time I heard the truth, that
Jesus died for me, and that I had to be born again.
The preacher
was preaching from the Bible, so I had no excuse not to follow
it. But the devil was lying to me. The devil didn't want me to
go that way, because he knew it was the truth. Then I left the
church, and things just got worse in my life. I started asking
God for answers, but God showed me that He had already given me
an answer
but I didn't want to take it. The longer I waited, the worse
it got. I was thinking I would find that joy and happiness in things.
I hoped to have something, but when I got to it, it didn't bring
the joy I was expecting. Then I came back to church, and I decided
to try and see what God was going to do for me, if it was true.
Since then, God changed my life. I remember coming once to a service,
and I received a word from the pastor. He told me that God would
give me joy and happiness. It won't be from money, school, or anything
I expected. I was trying to figure out where it was going to come
from, but after I lived for God, that joy just came on my life.
I don't
have to spend any money. I don't have to do any stupid thing. God
just put joy in my life and thank God, because there are things
that have happened since I got saved that I never could have handled
before I had God in my heart. I just thank God for everything He's
doing in my life.
